First Post

It feels so weird to be back in my bedroom, at my parent's house. I no longer even feel like a child, yet we are all so confused about the roles we are to play. My parents, realizing I am hurting, overcompensate by fawning over me. My sister tries to pull me out of my "rut" by giving me examples of how things could be "worse" (Worse? Not much.) And how I need to stop being so depressed (!). I......feel lost. Confused. Mostly overwhelmed. Sometimes the depression hits so hard, I can't breathe. Sometimes, I feel sad. Sometimes, I just miss Brad, I miss what we had. Is that so bad?

I hate the fact that I feel so dependent on my parents. My strong willed nature is screaming and clawing to get out of here. I want to find a job asap, but feel too overwhelmed by the job hunting process. Where do I want to live? What do I want to do with my life? Who am I?

My heart is broken. And sometimes, I just want to feel normal again. Will I be able to enjoy social situations? I will be able to smile and laugh at a joke? I will be able to see reminders of Brad, of "us" and not cry? Will I be able to trust? To love? To live?