Your normal is MY weird

I had a good friend tell me that yesterday. I realized that I REALLY do have the weirdest things happen to me.

Last weekend, I drove down to Atlanta for a weekend full of Lindy Hop classes and competitions. (I even went back after last year's less than stellar weekend.) I made plans to stay with my good friend, a girl I have known and danced with often over the past two years. We agreed that the general plan would be for me to sleep in her guest bedroom. (Which would be a considerable upgrade from my usual place on an air mattress on the floor.)

I arrive at her house LATE (early?) after the late night dance, around 2am. Everyone is already asleep. So I walk in the front door and promptly trip. On my own feet. Of course.

I gather all my stuff and trapse all the way up the old, creaky, rickety stairs. I finally make it up to my bedroom. I toss all my stuff on the floor and start looking for the light switch. It is DARK. And in that darkness, I hear a voice. A MAN'S VOICE.

Strange man: "I don't want to scare you or anything, but I'm in here. I just wanted to let you know."

I turn around, completely mortified. I feel AWFUL for waking this poor guy up.

Me: "I'm so sorry! I must be in the wrong room! I thought this was the guest bedroom!"

Strange man: "No, you're in the right room. You're actually going to be sharing this bed. With ME."

Me: ".........."

Me: "I'm sorry."  "...........What?"

Strange man: "You will be sleeping. in this bed. with me."

Me: "Um. I don't know you."

This strange man that was in MY BED, gets up, walks over to me IN HIS UNDERWEAR, and introduces himself.

Strange man: "Hi, I'm Alex."

Me: "Hi. Okay. I still don't know you. I don't even know your last name!"

Alex: "What? Haven't you ever had a one night stand before?"

Me: ".............."

Me: "Okay, listen. I'm going to take a shower. I don't care where you sleep- whether it's in this bed or on the couch downstairs. BUT IT'S NOT GOING TO BE WITH ME."

I stomp off and get ready for bed. When I return, the man is still in bed. SNORING.

OH. MY. WORD.

I stomp downstairs and try to get settled on the couch. The couch that is not a bed. The couch that is not MY BED because SOME MAN that I DO NOT KNOW is in MY BED.

The next morning, my friend comes downstairs and says, "So, what happened last night? Why aren't you upstairs in bed?"

Me: "You do know that there was a strange man in my bed, right?"

Friend: "Of course! That's Alex! Don't you remember we talked about it?"

Me: "Um. No. I would have remembered that conversation."

Friend: "Well, we talked about it. And don't worry! He had pants on!"

OHMYWORD.

Me: "OHMYWORD. ohmyWORD. We did NOT have that conversation. And I am not sharing a bed with him tonight. I don't care if he is sleeping in a haz mat suit!"




I took the couch. Again. WHEN did my life get so.......bizarre?